Sarah vs The Big Mistake
by LeeCan
Summary: Sarah is the consumate professional but she has let her guard down and has fallen for Chuck. In an effort to maintain their cover relationship, she drives him away. This time he has had enough and moves on. How will Sarah deal with this new situation.
1. Chapter 1

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

**A/N: Free wheeling here. Don't have a clue where this is going. No Story or Chapter by Chapter Outline. If anyone has an idea, let me know. If I am comfortable with it, I'll try to use it. **

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

"Sarah, you can't mean that."

I watch his brown eyes fill with tears and then overflow. "In another place or another time we might have had a chance. But here and now…Chuck, there's only one way for this to end and it's not happy."

"Didn't last night mean anything to you?"

"Last night meant everything. I will always remember it but waking up this morning, looking at the reality of our situation, we just can't do this. Professionally, last night was a mistake. Our relationship has got to be for the cover only. There are so many reasons why it has to be this way. And there is only one way that we can be together." I look at him; I know he's thinking it too. I decide to beat him to the punch. "I am not leaving the CIA."

Last night I had a little too much wine and we had a fabulous time together. Mix that with the fact that we have gone to bed together for the last three months for our cover life and it was bound to happen. The tension has been building since the first night. It was inevitable given that fact that I am as deeply in love with Chuck Bartowski as he is with me. But…I've been in love before…and walked away.

I watch Chuck storm out of our apartment. It hurts me to know his heart is breaking just when he thought we were getting together for real. The problem is if this were a normal relationship, he would leave, find another place to stay and we would start our new lives separately, rarely seeing each other again. Over time we would think less and less of each other until the day would finally come when we would not think of each other for a whole day. Gradually, we would move on with our lives and begin to love again.

But we have to live together for the sake of our jobs. This is the most screwed up assignment I've ever been on. I only have myself to blame. I knew if I let this happen the day would come when Chuck would stop loving me. That day hasn't happened yet but it has begun. I wonder if I can deal with it when that day arrives. I have too, I think, for his sake.

I spend the day in our apartment waiting for him to come back. I even shed a few tears when I stopped to think about how good we can be together. This is not fair to him. I have got to be strong for his sake. The sooner he can stop thinking about me as his girlfriend, the sooner he can be happy. But how is that gonna happen I say to myself as I start to cry, again. We share an apartment, we share a bed and we share a cover life where we act as if we are in love with each other. We kiss all the time and I have my hands all over him. I enjoy it and I know he does too. How is he going to get over what we really have together when he can't tell when I'm acting and when I'm not? And…I've done very little acting lately.

When he does…how am I going to be OK with it? There are times when I truly hate my job.


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Chapter Two

I look out over the ocean. The last time I felt this way was when Bryce sent me the Intersect. Now, I find out that the girl I thought was falling for me… isn't.

The tears stopped about an hour ago. I'm not sure why but my sadness was replaced with anger and then determination. Did I still love Sarah Walker? Unquestionably yes. But was I done playing the part of her fool? You bet I was.

The problem is that I am going to be near her most all of the time. Our covers had progressed to the point of our living together. I didn't mind three months ago but now that was going to be problematic for me. I know the best way to deal with this is to spend as much time away from Sarah and the apartment. I need to find something to do that will require a lot of my time in the evenings. As much as I don't want to think about it, I know I need to get out there and get back in the game so to speak.

I know what I need to do, generally speaking. Specifically I haven't figured it out yet. I could always play softball. There are thousands of teams in the area. I'm not that athletic so that's probably not my best choice. I could play video games at a number of groups in the area. Somehow this is what the old Chuck would do, the guy that would keep lying down for Sarah Walker to step on. No, I'm going to do something totally different.

Just then, I see a guy running along the beach. He is definitely working out. He has two guys running on both sides of him. He looks to be about my size but more muscular. He has a hood from his sweatshirt over his head but I can see he is bald. The way he runs tells me he is in fantastic shape. Something about this drew me to him. I get up and start to follow. After five minutes, he is out of sight. I don't know what else to do but I decide that I will be here at the same time same place tomorrow and hope to see him again. I don't know exactly what I will do if I actually talk with him but the new Chuck is going to be a bit more adventurous.

It's getting late and I know I need to get back to the apartment. I don't want Sarah to start to worry about me professionally. That will escalate things considerably. Actually, I'm surprised she hasn't called. Just as I think that the phone rings.

"Hi Sarah. Yeah, I'm fine. You know what I mean. Look I'm on my way home and we will talk then. Look Sarah, I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm OK with this. I'm not. But I'm through with this. Look, we'll talk when I get home."

Home, I don't know how I can call the apartment home. It is really the place where I work. I work to maintain my cover as Sarah's boyfriend. I realize my whole concept of my life will have to change.

I get in my car and thirty seven minutes later I'm walking into the apartment that Sarah and I share.

"Are you OK? I've been worried about you," she says.

"If you're asking if I'm going to jump off a bridge? The answer is no. If you're asking how my day has been? I've had better." I look at her until I capture her gaze. "Sarah, it's not my first choice but I'm going to play the hand that's dealt me. You don't have to worry about me. I finally get it, OK?"

I watch her expression of concern for me turn into a look of uncertainty but I really can't say what is behind her expression. She seems at a loss for words and when she does speak she stumbles.

"Have you eaten? We have some pizza I can nuke for you."

"No, I grabbed a sandwich on the way home. I just really want to get some sleep."

"OK, sure. But if you want to talk-"

"Come on Sarah, what's there to talk about? I thought we had a chance at something but I find out I was wrong. Let's move on, OK?"

"Uh, sure. I just want you to know if you need to talk-"

"Sarah…if I need to talk with someone I'll find them. Tell me how talking with you about this problem is going to help me? I intend to take your lead with our relationship. Our cover that is. The less time we spend together the easier it will be on me. So I would appreciate it if you help out in that regard."

I see that puzzled look on her face again.

"OK Chuck. Whatever you need, that's what we'll do."

I walk towards the bedroom. "What I need right now is some sleep." I go to bed without another word to her. She stayed up for a while and then joined me in the bed.

I was going to pretend that I was asleep but I realize she would know that I was faking. I just stay on my side of the bed with my back to her not really acting like I am asleep but making no attempt at conversation.

I can tell she is unsettled for some reason and although I would rather just ignore her for my own sake I just can't. I roll over and look at her. She is setting up in bed with a magazine. I know she is not reading a Maxim but I don't comment.

"You need to talk some more?" I ask her.

She just noticed the title of the magazine and threw it on the floor. "I'm concerned about you Chuck. You're not acting the way you usually do."

I look at her trying to gage what she is thinking. Deciding that I am not going to be able to reach a conclusion, I continue. "Sarah, I've tried to do everything that I know to do to get you to let those barriers down. Just let them down and let me in. But just when I thought I had finally succeeded, I realize that I wasn't even close. I know now that I never really had a chance with you. For whatever reasons, I was never going to get you to abandon what you feel is your duty. For some reason your duty and your loving me are opposing forces and I see that I cannot win that battle.

I study her face trying to glean just a little of her thoughts. I realize that I cannot. "I have concluded that I must lay down my arms and surrender. I cannot win this war. That's what I have done, Sarah. I've given up. I still love you but I hope to love you less tomorrow and less the day after that."

"You know that old story about how much money would you have at the end of the month if you had a penny on the first day of the month and doubled the amount every day?" She nodded to me. I noticed the tears in her eyes as she wiped them away. "Well we're going to see just how much love I've had for you. I am going to try to love you only half as much tomorrow as I loved you today. At the end of the month, maybe I can move on with my life." I see she is shocked by my statement. I say a little more tenderly. "Sarah, I don't want to sound cruel but I've got to end this. I have got to move on if we don't have a chance.  
She shook her head knowing that what I said was true and that I was not trying to hurt her. I think it hurt her anyway. I will never understand Sarah Walker. I realize today that I will never really have the opportunity to understand her.

I roll over and say goodnight. I listen to her cry for forty seven minutes and twenty three seconds before she falls asleep. At that time I roll over as gently as I can to study her face. She is a mystery. She is an enigma. Yet tonight she is the woman I love. But tomorrow, I will move on. Maybe just a step. But one step leads to two and then to four. By the end of the month maybe I can look at her as she sleeps and not ache in my chest.

The comfort of sleep finally found and engulfed me. Just as I drifted off, I prayed tomorrow is better than today.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: OK, this is where we're going

A/N: OK, this is where we're going. I appreciate the ideas that you have sent to me. I will try to use as many as I can. Thanks again for reading.

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Chapter Three

"You shoulda seen Chuck's face when he got that submission." Ray said to the group around the table. Everyone laughed as they enjoyed teasing me.

"Keep talking Ray and you might be next." I said laughing as well.

It had been four months since Sarah and I had decided to keep our relationship _cover only._ I met Chris Notter the next day as he jogged along the beach. At first, he did not take me seriously. But I came back the next day and then the next. Eventually, he invited me to his training camp.

Chris is a UFC fighter of some stature. There was talk that he might get a title fight at light heavyweight later this year. I told him that I really wasn't interested in fighting but that I wanted to get in shape. What I really wanted was to get out of the apartment and get away from Sarah. I knew that unless I put some distance between us, I would never get over her. Things have been strained between us ever since.

Chris put me on both an aerobic and anaerobic training schedule. At first, much to my dismay, I lost seven pounds. But then after thirty days I had gained that back and now three months later I am twenty seven pounds heavier.

I have a new group of friends that I enjoy. And I have a new sense of confidence that I have never had before. And…I have my eye on a girl. I had been shot down by her four times in a row now. But I think I am starting to wear her down by my sheer determination.

"I can't believe you're gonna give it another shot," Jessica said. "Gotta give ya credit for balls, Chucky."

"Jessie, I've been skewered by the hottest woman on the planet. Somehow this doesn't seem nearly as hard as it use to." I say.

"Go get her tiger," Chris said laughing. "I got five bucks that says she goes out with him tonight," Notter said.

"You're on," the six other people at the table said in unison.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence guy's," I said looking back at my friends giving them a look that said I owed them one.

"Hey Claire, how's it going?"

"Chuck, what I surprise," she said sarcastically.

She was speechless. Finally, she smiled at me. "Pull up a chair."

"Thanks, I was actually the one surprised when I saw you here tonight. I thought you might think you were being stalked and stay away forever."

"The thought crossed my mind."

"Listen Claire, I don't won't to be a pest but I've learned over the last few months that persistence pays off. I'm just practicing my persistence skills."

"It isn't you as much as it is your friends. They're an interesting bunch."

"Aw come on. There not as bad as they smell at first sniff." I said. She laughed and I knew that I had a real shot at going out with her. I reach out my hand, "Chuck Bartowski," I say grabbing her hand.

"Claire Mitchell, so Chuck Bartowski…what do you do when you're not hanging out at pizza joints."

"I am a computer repair guy. I work at the Buy More."

"Really, I've got to admit that I didn't see that coming. From the looks of your friends over there I thought maybe you would be into something involving killing things. Maybe working at a slaughter house or something," she said laughing.

I look at my table. They are all watching me. They raise their glasses in unison. "I'm sorry Claire but I think we're the center of the conversation with my friends."

"Why don't we get out of here? I've got my car here…you game?"

"Are you kidding, I just got to get my bag. I'll meet you at the front door."

I go back to my table as Claire goes to the front door. "I'll see you later…Claire and I are outta here," I say. "Oh Jessie, You'll just have to dream about me tonight."

"Right Bartowski, in your dreams. That'll be the day," she said as she threw her spoon at me. "Can you believe that jerk?" she said loud enough for me to hear.

"OK, pay up. That's five bucks from each of you," Notter said to the group.

X-X

Claire and I drove around for a while talking. I found that we talked easily together. She seemed comfortable with me and I was with her too. I felt a little tug at my heart when she pulled into the city park. We were very close to where Sarah and I liked to walk along the ocean. I mentally forced thoughts of Sarah out of my mind.

"So you're working on your PhD in Kinesiology? That's pretty cool. I know someone who is a UCLA grad too. Actually he's soon to be my brother in law."

"Well, a UCLA grad in the family. Maybe I've underestimated you."

I look at her with a twinkle in my eye. "You don't want to underestimate me. That can be dangerous."

"I think I'll take my chances," she said laughing. Suddenly her smile turned serious. We leaned in towards each other and kissed. I tried not to but I couldn't help it. I compared kissing her to kissing Sarah. As much as I didn't want to admit it, her lips came up short.

I push that thought out of my mind and get out of the car. We walk along the beach talking and laughing. I have a great time and I see that she does too. Eventually, we make it back to her car.

"Where do you live? I'll drive you home," she said.

"That's OK Claire; my car is close to the pizza place. Just take me back there." The last thing I want is Claire taking me back to the apartment that I share with Sarah. That will be difficult to explain. If this goes anywhere I'll have to deal with that issue.

She drops me off near my car; before I get out I reach over and kiss her again. Although I prefer Sarah's kiss, Claire is available and a normal person. She is someone that I can have a real relationship with.

We say goodbye and as I am driving back to my apartment, I can't believe how I'm feeling. I'm feeling guilty. I pull up to my parking spot outside the apartment. I actually feel as though I've cheated on Sarah. As I walk into the door, I realize that there is a part of me that loves Sarah. I have been pretty successful in decreasing the pain I feel when I think that Sarah and I will never be together. I hope that Claire might be able to help me with that.

"Hey, your home early," Sarah says.

"Yeah, I've got an early day tomorrow and I needed to get back to get some sleep." I take off my shirt to reveal a sleeveless work out tee shirt. I go to the kitchen to get a glass of tomato juice. As I reach up for a glass I feel Sarah behind me. She grabs my shoulders.

"Have you been working out?" she says.

I turn to face her and she backs up just a little. "Have you been drinking?"

"Just a little, it's been pretty boring around here Chuck. Hey don't change the subject. Where did you get these guns?"

"Sarah, you know I've been working out. Look, you promised me you'd stay out of my private life. I don't want you spying on me. We agreed Casey can handle that. OK?"

"God damn it, Chuck, I'm not spying on you. I'm just saying you're looking good."

I look at her somewhat concerned. I've seen her drunk many times but this time there was something different and I didn't like it.

"Sarah, I gotta get some sleep. I'm going to bed."

"I'll be right there."

"Uh, do you think maybe you should have some coffee first? If I recall it was us going to bed drunk that caused all of our problems in the first place. Maybe you should just sleep on the couch."

"I am not sleeping on the couch. What's wrong Chuck? Think you'll loose control?"

"No Sarah, I'm not afraid of that." I watched her eyes grow moist and had to turn away. Seeing Sarah cry was still something I could not deal with. "I'll see you in the morning."

She came to bed about thirty minutes later. She quickly got under the covers. "Chuck, are you asleep?"

I know she knows I'm not. "No."

"We have a mission Tuesday night. Don't forget."

"I know, I won't forget."

"Chuck, I miss you. I mean, I miss our talks and the friendship that we had."

I sigh and turn over to look at her. "You know Sarah why it has to be this way?"

"I know…I'm just saying that I miss you. I don't blame you." She reaches over and grabs my hand, looking at it while she rubs my palm.

I am getting uncomfortable with this intimate moment. I try to pull my hand away but she holds on tighter. I pull harder needing to get control of myself. She grabs my hand with both hands and hangs on as though she were about to fall off a cliff. The sheer desperation in her behavior disturbs me and I stop just giving her control of my hand.

She held it for a second more and then let go turning away from me as she did and silently cried with her back to me.

"Do you need for me to be strong for you tonight?" I asked. It was not fair of me. I am definitely playing on her need to protect me. I got the intended results. She pulled herself together.

"No, I'm OK," she said wiping the tears from her eyes. Sorry Chuck…See you in the morning."

"Goodnight Sarah."


	4. The Argument

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

The Argument

"So what am I supposed to do, Chuck? I work a lousy cover job all day and come home to what? An empty apartment. You're never home anymore and when you are I don't get three words out of you." Sarah walked to stand right in front of me.

"What do you expect from me Sarah? I've given half my life to the CIA and it sounds as though you want me to give the rest of it to you. But only under the conditions you dictate…I'm supposed to be your pretend boyfriend, come home to our pretend happy home, pretend that we are madly in love with each other, pretend, pretend, pretend. I can't stand it. I want something real."

"Do you never wish things could be like they once were?" Sarah asked calming down.

"When do you mean? If you mean the night we made love. Yes. That was the happiest day of my life. If you mean the next morning when you told me it was a mistake…I think I'll pass on that."

"Chuck, I mean before we made love. Everything was OK then."

"For you maybe. Not for me. I finally had everything I wanted. I thought you wanted it too but then I realized that for you pretending is good enough."

"You make it sound as though what we had was something bad."

"It wasn't bad…it just wasn't enough." I take the time to really look at Sarah and I see she looks tired. "You made it clear to me Sarah that if you had to choose between me and your job…you would choose your job over me any day." I had her there and she knew it.

"Frankly, I'm surprised you've not asked for a reassignment." I watched her turn sheepish on me.

"They turned me down, said that we were too effective out here. So you're stuck with me." She tried to smile but she knew that she had hurt me with her last admission.

"Promise me something Sarah?"

She looked up at me. Looked into my eyes. "If I can."

"Promise me you won't leave without telling me goodbye." I had worked hard to keep my emotions in check with Sarah for the last four months but this...I just couldn't contain the tears. "Promise me Sarah." I knew that look. This was a promise she didn't really want to make. I knew then she had planned on skipping out if she got the approval from above.

"Alright Chuck, I promise. I'm not very good with goodbyes. I would prefer to just leave without much fanfare."

"I'm going to hold you to that promise. You won't have to do any talking anyway. If it ever comes to that I have a few things I would like to say to you, that all."

"OK, now that we're making promises to each other, I want you to promise me that you will tell me when you start dating again. Even if I'm gone I can always get a message from Graham. Will you promise me that?"

"Uh Sarah…about that." Her head snapped up so fast I would have thought she hurt herself. I saw the fire begin to smolder in those blue eyes.

"How long?"

"About a month," I said watching the fire in her eyes being quenched by her tears.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think it mattered."

"Didn't matter," she said walking away from me. She stood by an end table with a glass coaster on it. Picking it up she threw it as hard as she could against the front wall. "Didn't matter. What the fuck do you think we are Chuck? Are we just a couple of people that work together? Are we acquaintances? Are we friends? What the fuck am I to you?"

"Sarah, I'm sorry. I would have told you but honestly when you told me that you would never leave the CIA I just thought you were telling me that I was not that important to you. I honestly didn't think it would bother you."

She stormed out of the room into our bedroom slamming the door so hard we heard pounding on the ceiling from the people upstairs.

"Shut the fuck up," she yelled from inside our bedroom.

I sit down on the couch. I know Sarah. She will cool down in a minute and will want to talk. I bide my time. Besides, I need to talk with her about Claire. She's wanted to come over to my apartment for two weeks now. I've put her off but that won't happen for too much longer.

Sure enough, within five minutes I hear the door to our bedroom open. Sarah comes out and sits down beside me without looking at me. She has a tissue in her hand and a red nose.

"What's her name?"

"Claire, she goes to UCLA and is working on her PhD in Kinesiology."

"Is she nice?"

"Yeah Sarah, I really like her." Sarah and I share a look that tells her that I am getting serious with Claire. I see her shake her head up and down as though she's saying she knew this day would come.

"What are you going to tell her about us?" She's bound to find out?"

I'm sure Sarah knows that I want to talk with her about this. It's her way of making this easy for me. I look at her and remember why I loved her. "I thought about telling her as much of the truth as I can. You're my ex girlfriend, we still share an apartment but have not been intimate in over four months…what do you think?"

"I think you stand a good chance of having two ex girlfriends with that approach."

"I'm not going to lie to her Sarah."

"Suite yourself. You're going to tell her we share that bedroom?"

"Well no. I hoped that we could clear out the second bedroom and I could move in there." I see the look of hurt in her eyes. I wish I had thought of a better way to say it.

"Sure," she said. "I'll help you. I doubt if you know it but sleeping with you was the last pleasurable thing you and I were doing. But I guess all things must pass."

The honesty between us, although bittersweet at best, gave me courage to brave a topic that I wanted to discuss with her. There's no time like the present I think.

"Sarah, can I ask you something?"

She looked at me and sort of half chuckled and half sighed as if to say, _you really have to ask. _

"I've tried to understand your logic about why we were never able to have a real relationship and I have to tell you I just don't get it. I've got to ask you a couple of questions, OK?"

She just shook her head up and down. She had her elbows on her knees as she leaned forward on the couch. It was one of the things I really like about Sarah. She could get really dolled up and yet there were times like these were she looked like one of the guys getting ready to down a beer.

"Explain to me why you and I could never have had a real relationship. Just plain English. Why was that not possible?"

"That's easy Chuck. If you and I would have continued down the road we began that night, I would have been compromised. Not able to do the job to the best of my ability."

"Let me ask you something? Aren't you compromised already? Yeah we're not sleeping together and the last few months have been a little rocky but let's say you were ordered to lock me up somewhere for the rest of my life. Like what almost happened with Longshore. Could you do it?"

She had that deer in the headlights look. "I guess…I see your point." She turned to look at me. "You know I could not do that, right?"

I smile at her. "I know Sarah."

She smiled back. It was a sad smile.

"OK, what else. There's got to be more than that."

"I would get into big trouble."

Now it's my turn to get mad. "You're kidding me right? You told me four months ago that our making love was a mistake because you were afraid of getting into trouble?" I stand up to pace the floor, getting madder and madder the more I think about it.

"It's not just that there are other reasons too."

"What are they? You were so quick to give up on us and I haven't heard one reason yet."

"The real reason is that I know I will not have this assignment forever. One day I'll have to leave. If we were really together it would be hard to leave."

"And it won't be now?"

She stuttered as she tried to respond. "You make it sound as though it's a no brainer."

"I use to think it was."

"Use to?"

"Sarah, things have changed since that night. I realized that I had to move on and I have. I had to for my sanity."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I always knew I would loose you. I just thought it would be to a new assignment. Not that I would loose you to someone else."

I knew the time was right to reach her. "Didn't you loose me because you were afraid to commit to our relationship? Instead, looking for a number of reasons why we couldn't be together? Don't answer that. Just think about it." I put my arm around her shoulder and held her. It felt good. But I felt bad because of Claire.


	5. The Decision

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

The Decision

I've been out of it for two days now. It's a good thing we haven't had to go out on a mission. I would blow things for sure. The problem I'm having is that damn argument Chuck put to me about my reasons for not committing to a real relationship.

When he first went through it step by step, I discounted every argument he made. But yesterday I could not stop thinking about what he said. Until I went to bed, alone I might add, with the nagging idea that he might be right.

This morning I knew he was right…I really didn't have a legitimate reason for breaking it off with Chuck. Except for the only reason he didn't mention.

I'm afraid.

I half to laugh to myself because the great Sarah Walker is afraid of a Buy-More nerd. More precisely, she's afraid of a relationship with anyone, but especially Chuck. His honesty is beyond frightening to me.

I lay in bed looking at the ceiling fan twirling around like helicopter wings. Slowly but surely, like the pain from the sting of a honey bee, I realize that I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I have pushed myself out of Chuck's heart.

With a lump in my throat and heaviness in my chest I come to the decision to fight. Fight for Chuck. Fight for my right to be happy. My spirits start to rise as I think about what I intend to do. I have to fight a lot of people to get Chuck back in this bed. I decide to call the first guy right now. Might as well get this out of the way. I go to my phone and realize I feel great about what I am getting ready to do. Just yesterday I would have been a basket case just contemplating it.

"Hello, Director Graham…Sarah Walker. Sorry to call on the weekend but this couldn't wait sir. No, I think you'll find it to be a bit of a bombshell. No sir. No sir. If I may Director…well there's no easy way to say this so I'll just say it. I've fallen in love with my asset."

My mouth drops open as I listen to what the director has to say.

"Sir… that **is** the bombshell. I'm in love with Chuck Bartowski."

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I heard him say, "Everyone knows that!"

"You're not angry? What about the guidelines against that sort of thing? Yes sir, I know the meaning of the word guidelines. Yes sir. Sorry sir. I'll let you get back to the greens."

I hang up the phone and cannot shut down the smile that overtakes my face. In essence, I've just been given permission to date Chuck Bartowski for real.

But just as quick as the smile appeared, it left. How do I go about getting Chuck back? How do I fight for him? I've never had to fight for anyone. In two days Chuck is going to bring Claire over to meet me. I have got to come up with a plan. Who do I know that I can go to for help? I think of Casey and then burst out laughing. Casey would just fix her brakes to go out at high speed.

I realize who I need to talk with about this but it is very tricky. It could backfire very easily. If I talk to Ellie I will have to choose my words very carefully. And make sure she promises to keep certain things between us girls.

X-X

Everything went as planned with my chat with Ellie. She was one hundred percent in my corner. She was actually very upset with Chuck for leaving me. I had to explain to her that it was clearly my fault and that she could not blame Chuck for my mistake.

When we got that out of the way, we girls got down to business. Ellie knows her brother better than anyone, with the possible exception of yours truly. But, the one thing she said that hit home was "all's fair in love and war and Sarah you are in love and you're in a war." We both laughed but afterward I thought that I was in a war and when Sarah Walker goes to war she doesn't take prisoners.

We decided that we would exorcise the new Chuck with everything that the old Chuck used to love. Including myself. The plan was for me to spend as much time with Chuck as possible. Be nice, be covertly flirty. Do all the things for him that I know he loves. Cook pancakes, order pizza and even learn to play video games.

I called Morgan who was only too eager to help since he felt as though he had lost his best friend when Chuck became a fitness buff. Two eight hour sessions of Call of Duty and Halo later, I wasn't half bad. I had the real training which allowed me to pick up on everything faster. Morgan said I was a natural.

I strategically placed the video games back in my bedroom. The purpose was maybe a late night of gaming might lead to Chuck crashing in our old bed. If that happened I couldn't be held responsible if word leaked out to Claire. I was really starting to get into this.

I have everything ready for tonight. Chuck and Claire are supposed to be over at seven. Morgan is dropping by shortly after that. And then Ellie and Devon to follow. Of course this will all be spur of the moment and without any planning. All's fair in love and war.

I had one last card to play. I dialed Casey's phone. "Casey, you got a second? I'm hoping you would be in for a little rogue action?"

"Whatya got in mind Walker?"

"I want to know everything there is to know about Chuck's new gal Claire. I want to know what she likes for breakfast and what she uses to wash her clothes with. Think you could do that for me?"

"As slow as it's been around here, I've got nothing better to do. How deep you wanna go?"

"To the bottom. I want everything. Oh and Casey…Chuck can never know about this. OK?"

"Know about what?"

X-X

"Sarah, we're here."

"Come in Chuck, supper's almost ready." Chuck and Claire walk into the apartment. I can't help it; I sneak a peak at her when she's not looking. I guess she pretty enough. But I don't like her. He could do a lot better I think to myself and laugh.

I have worked on my hair for an hour my nails are just done and I have taken extra care with my makeup. Other than that I am in jeans and a tee shirt. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard.

Leaving the kitchen I go to greet my adversary. "Hi, I'm Sarah and you must be Claire. I've heard so much about you. Chuck goes on and on about you." Chuck was oblivious to the fact that I just said that we still talk quite a bit when we're at the apartment.

She looks me up and down not liking what she sees. I give her my best fake smile.

"Come on in Claire and have a seat. I've made Chuck's favorite dish," I said waiting to see if she knew what it was. Satisfied that she did not I said, "Chicken pot pie."

"You made Chicken pot pie," he said excited.

"Yeah, blackberry cobbler and ice cream for desert."

"Sarah what do you do for a living?" Claire asked seemingly eager to change the subject.

"I work in food service," I say stealing a look at Chuck. I glance at Claire to make sure she did not miss the look Chuck and I exchanged. She did not. I kind of felt sorry for Chuck. I knew that on the way to her place he was going to get an earful. Oh well, all's fair in love and war.

Going back to the kitchen, I ran my hand through Chuck's hair every so briefly. He was so used to it he didn't even react to the gesture. But I looked back to see Claire elbow Chuck hard in the shoulder.

"Oh, what I do?" he said.

"What was that?" I asked pretending that someone asked me a question.

Before anyone could answer, Ellie poked her head in the door, "Anyone home?"

"Ellie, Devon, come on in. You're just in time for supper. Have you ate?"

Five minutes later, in pops Morgan and Ana. "Come in, come in. Have you ate yet?"

We talk and laugh and exclude Claire from almost all conversations. I see she is livid. In a way I feel sorry for her but I am not going to let her take Chuck.

"Chuck, you want feel the call of duty?" Morgan said after we ate.

"You play video games?" Claire asked astonished.

"Uh yeah well I use to."

"What do you mean used to Chuck?" Morgan said passionately. "Hey you should see Sarah play, she's pretty good."

Chuck looked at me with a slow smile forming on his face. "You're playing Call of Duty?"

"I prefer Halo but yeah I'm getting by." I said smiling genuinely at him. He returns the smile. Claire has had all she can stand of the Sarah Walker love fest and silently asks Chuck to take her home.

"Hey everyone, I'm going to take Claire home. I'll try to stop back in before it gets too late."

He's going to pay for that.

"Oh, Chuck. Can I see your bedroom?"  
I knew she would want to verify that he had his own room. She may have told him she trusted him and it was me she didn't trust but I saw that she did not trust him living here in this apartment with me.

As Chuck and Claire walked towards the front door, I laid my hand on his shoulder. "Are you coming back tonight? I've got something I need to talk with you about. I made sure that he understood I meant our real jobs. Not our cover jobs. Again we shared a look of knowing between us that Claire couldn't help but notice. Man what I would give to plant a bug on her for their trip home.

Why not I think.


	6. Working the Plan

A/N: If any of you know who he is and have the song available try playing Joshua Kadison's "Jessie" as you read this

A/N: If any of you know who he is and have the song available try playing Joshua Kadison's "Jessie" as you read this. That's what I was listening too when I wrote it. Some of it is fitting. It actually molded some of the writing. Elton John did a version too. That will work fine.

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Working the Plan

The last two weeks have gone as planned. Chuck and I are gradually spending more and more time together. We are at ease and having fun. Meanwhile, Chuck and Claire are tense and when she is not giving him the silent treatment, she is bitching at him.

I don't feel nearly as bad for her as I did in the beginning. According to Casey, she goes through more guys than I go through tennis shoes. I've learned that she's a spoiled little rich girl who has to have everything her way. The only reason she's not dropped Chuck like a hot potato is because she knows I want him back…I really hate that bitch.

For the last week I have worked my plan to perfection. Chuck has been in the habit of getting up early. I think in the beginning to avoid me. Now he's just used to it.

I've started getting up before him and making breakfast. Ellie says that Chuck cannot say no to a well cooked sausage and egg breakfast. Once she showed me how to make them that is. I have to admit their pretty good. Chuck seems to like them and that's all that matters.

"What do you have planned for today?" I ask as I stand beside him and put my hand on his shoulder with my hip against his side. Last week he would have almost jumped out of his chair but now I think he enjoys it.

"I'm going to Notter's tonight."

"You going with Claire?"

He looked at me to see if I had some hidden meaning to the question. I have been very careful not to put her down. But I've said nothing that would allow him to think I like her either.

"No, she's out of town until Friday."

"Can I come?"

He deliberately sat his fork down on his plate and turned in his seat to look up at me. I had to remove my hand from his shoulder.

"Sarah, what are doing?"

I am scared to death. Has he seen through the plan? I don't know what to say. Fortunately, he did not wait for an answer. "Sarah, I don't really have a defense against you like this. I've tried to stay away from you because that's the only way I will ever get over you. I'm not sure that will even work."

He stood and walked to the frig and then turned to look at me. "This new Sarah who's cooking my breakfast and playing video games with me and wants to go out just for the fun of it. That's all I've ever wanted from you…something real."

I want to run to him. I want to jump into his arms. I want to tell him that that is all I want too. It takes all of my willpower not to. For once I thank my instincts when it comes to relationships because I know it would not have worked and would have ruined my one chance to get him back.

"I want something real too Chuck. I'm still trying to understand what that means. When I do, I hope that you will still want to hear what I have to say."

"You know Sarah, you can ruin me. God I would be scared out of my mind to know that I had such power over someone else. I'm telling you if you know what's good for me you're not just playing some game."

I knew he meant what he said. The look on his face was so open so…he was laid open before me. I could have killed him with a cruel word.

It did scare me to think of it like that.

"I'll be by at 5:30 dress real casual."

After he left I thought about what he said. In some ways he is so different now but in others he's the same honest straightforward person that I fell in love with. It felt good to say that I loved him or to even think it. I just wish that I could tell him how I felt. I know that right now he would not be able to hear it, always wondering whether I was saying it for the job.

I went to work hardly able to stand waiting until quitting time. Finally it came and I rushed to our apartment, took a shower and got dressed. I had on jeans but they were my best form fitting pair. I strategically chose my top as well, showing a lot of cleavage. I know that Chuck will be a little uncomfortable with me showing it off as he use to say.

I didn't have to wait long, he came in slightly early and grabbed a shower and got ready as well. He was in athletic garb which I still have not gotten used to seeing him wear. It is just so not him.

In no time we're out of the city and at an old farm property. The barn has been converted to a gym. There are various exercise apparatuses everywhere. In the center of the building is the octagon as they call it. It looked like a boxing ring to me.

We no sooner got there and sat down than the trouble started. This guy that Chuck told me later was named Jason began in on Chuck.

"Hey Chuck, you got a new girl?"

"Jason, I'm in no mood for it tonight OK?'

"Mood for what, Chucky?"

"Ignore him Sarah. He's been trying to get me in the ring for a month now. Everyone knows I'm here just to work out."

"He's not gonna bother me Chuck." But right as I whispered that to Chuck he seemed to sense he had another opportunity to get under Chuck's skin.

"Hey Chucky, why don't you introduce me to your girl. I'll bet she'd appreciate being with a real man."

"I'd never seen Chuck blow before. But you know what they say about people who are slow to anger…watch out if they get angry. Well that was Chuck.

"Shut your fucking month Jason, I hear one more word from you about Sarah and so help me God I'll-"

"Jason, knock it off," Notter said from the ring.

"Come on Chris, I'm just having a little fun with Chuck. He's too scared to get into the ring anymore. I'm just trying to help him get back on the saddle."

"You want me in the ring Jason…fine. Jason and me next."

I watch Chuck come back to sit down by me. I see he is still steaming.

"I've put up with his shit for months now. He asked Claire out once and she turned him down. He's been on my case ever since."

"Why don't we just leave Chuck?" I was afraid he was going to get hurt.

Before Chuck could respond the ring was empty and the referee called for Chuck and Jason. They got up and get their gloves on.

I knew a little bit about ultimate fighting. I still could not believe Chuck was involved in it. I watched amazed as Chuck got into the ring and actually looked as though he knew what he was doing.

When the referee started the fight, Jason tried to hit him with an overhead right hand definitely meant to end the contest quickly. He swung too hard and Chuck dove for a leg and got it.

I watched in absolute amazement when Chuck lifted him up off the mat and slammed him into it hard. People were all around the ring telling each fighter what to do. Not being all that familiar with wrestling, I was not up to speed on the various moves that could take place.

The two fighters began to twist and turn so that it was impossible to see who had the upper hand. When all of a sudden Chuck ended up behind Jason with his left forearm tucked tightly under Jason's chin. I didn't have to be an expert in wrestling to figure out that Jason was in real trouble. Sure enough he began to tap out.

Chuck kept pulling down hard. Jason tapped out more frantically and the referee moved in. Chuck actually pushed Jason when he was on his feet.

"Just lay off," Chuck said with a serious tone that I had never heard before in his voice. Jason did not respond.

"Come on Sarah, I'm not in the mood for this." He said after leaving the ring.

Ten minutes later we are on the freeway back to our apartment. Chuck hasn't said three words since we got into the car. I look at him until he glances at me briefly.

"Of all the people that I wish never saw that, I guess I would put you and Ellie at the top of the list."

I am confused by his statement, "I understand why you wouldn't want Ellie to see you like that but why me? You know I've done much worse."

"I know. But I haven't. And the man my sister loves and you…care for. That guy back there isn't him."

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.

"I think that I've run away from who I was so I could deal with the pain of losing you. And now…I'm not sure who I am anymore."

"Chuck." I waited for him to look at me. "I don't know if you'll believe me or not but I love you. But our lives are complicated. When I told you it wouldn't work it had nothing to do with you. You know that don't you? "

That is not what I wanted to say to him but I knew better than to deviate from my plan.

He smiled at me but said nothing. We drove the rest of the way in silence.

When we got to the apartment he took a shower and went to bed. I did the same but after closing my door for maybe thirty minutes, he knock and came in.

"Wanna talk?"

"You bet."

Chuck climbed into bed with me and just grabbed me and held me tight.

We both feel asleep like that without ever saying another word. I remember thinking right before I went to sleep that this is how I want to end every day for the rest of my life. Please God, I thought.


	7. Choices

A/N: Unless someone has a good idea for the story I think I'll end it in the next two chapters

A/N: Unless someone has a good idea for the story I think I'll end it in the next two chapters.

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Choices

I woke up first and tried not to move. I wanted to watch Chuck sleep. But something must have alerted him somehow because within minutes we were staring into each others eyes.

I saw that he was uncomfortable and pulled away from him although I did not want to. I didn't want to say something to overtly romantic. I knew that would add to his discomfort.

"I don't know when I've had a better nights sleep." I said as I got up to go into the bathroom. I noticed a hint of a smile on his face as I left the room. "Chuck, what's your schedule like today?" I say from the bathroom.

"I have to work until three O'clock. How about you?"

"No, I have to work late tonight," I said disappointed that I would not get to spend much time with him. "When does Claire get in?" I said using the most neutral voice I could muster.

"Late tonight. I think she's coming over first thing in the morning. I've got tomorrow off."

"I do to." I was sorry to hear about Claire's arrival. I wanted more quality time with Chuck. "You got time for breakfast? I'll be happy to make you something."

"As tempting as that sounds Sarah, I'm going to be late if I don't get started right now."

After a while everything lightened up and we both left the apartment, Chuck to go to work and me to do some shopping.

The next morning I woke up alone. When I got in from work I saw that Chuck was already in bed. I didn't check to see if he was asleep. I just went to bed myself.

I got up early a started to make breakfast. Today pancakes. The smell of the batter slowly cooking on the grill brought Chuck out of his room with a smile on his face.

"I think I've gotten used to this," he said good naturedly.

Without turning around I said, "That's the plan." I don't know what his reaction was because I didn't see his face.

We ate and talked and as we did we began to get more and more light-hearted. We washed the dishes together joking with each other the whole time. As we walked from the kitchen to the family room, I thought back to Chuck's time in the octagon. I really was impressed with him but I didn't want to loose the easy-going, good-natured ribbing that we had developed. So instead I laughed and told him that he looked like he was trying to ride Jason around the ring instead of fight him.

"I beat him didn't I?"

"Yeah, like a jockey beats his mount," I said laughing. He turned his back to me for some reason and without thinking; I jumped on his back and yelled, "Gidyup."

Chuck took off at a gallop carrying me around the apartment. I yelled and laughed and Chuck whinnied as he carried me. At one point he began to twirl. He twirled so fast that I had to hang on as tight as I could not to be thrown off. Just as we finished our first lap, in walked Claire. She stood in the open doorway staring at us.

Chuck and I also looked at Claire with open mouths. I was on his back with my legs wrapped tightly around his waist and my arms around his neck. We must of stood there like that for what seemed an eternity, when suddenly Chuck let go of my thighs and I slid down his back.

"I've wondered what you two do here when I'm not around." She looked at Chuck with anger in her eyes. "You let Sarah ride you?"

I knew that didn't come out like she wanted it to but I didn't say anything. Although I thought of a number of responses that would have been funny, at least to me.

"That's it Chuck. I've had enough. Either you make Sarah leave this apartment or you and I are over."

I held my breath. I didn't really know which way Chuck would choose. I slowly took my gaze off of Claire and looked at Chuck. He had the most agonizing expression on his face.

He finally turned to me with those big sad brown eyes and said, "Sarah, you need to leave."

I couldn't take a breath. I'm not even sure how long I stood there looking at him. I turned to look at Claire who was smiling at me, really rubbing it in. I used every ounce of strength and knowledge that I had acquired with the CIA not to cry. I would not give her the satisfaction.

I turn back to Chuck. "Chuck, I…don't know what to say."

"Sarah, would you wait outside? Claire and I need to talk…privately?"

That's when I knew what he meant. It was now my turn to gloat. However I decided that I had more class. I turned and walked past her without any expression on my face.

I closed the door behind me and listened to their conversation with my ear to the door. I couldn't help myself.

"Claire, this isn't working."

"I don't believe you would choose her over me. A food service employee. I thought you had more taste Chuck."

"Claire, I'll always be grateful, you-"

"Save it. I'm already over you. I'm not sure why I stayed this long," she said and opened the door quickly to leave.

I had to get out of her way because I was still listening. But I didn't care. I just smiled as I watched her leave. I would have loved to have said something bitchy to her but I was resolved to take the high road.

"You were spying on our conversation?" Chuck said with a wry smile on his face.

I gave him my most 'you've got to be kidding look' and said, "Isn't that what I do?"

He laughed and held out his arms.

We embrace and I hold him as tight as I can.

"Wanna go for a drive?" he said as he held on to me.

"Sure, where too?"

"Not a clue. I just want to get out on the road and feel the wind rush past."

"Let's go," I said liking the sound of it.

An hour and forty five minutes later we are out of the city driving up 101 and having a good time just being with each other.

We drive like this for over an hour. Happy to be with each other and not needing to say a word.

I look at him. "Chuck, are you OK? I mean with everything that happened with Claire."

Without turning to look at me he said, "Claire and I have been over for some time now. It just took us until today to figure it out." He paused for a minute. "How are you doing? I saw the look on your face when you thought I was asking you to leave the apartment."

"Thank God you didn't mean that. I thought you were asking me to move on."

"Come on Sarah. Don't you know me better than that? I've spent the last four months trying to get over you. But I'll never want you out of my life."

This is as good a time as I'll ever have to gage the water so to speak. "Chuck, what if I said to you that I was wrong back then? That I wanted us to try again. What would you think about that, seriously?"

"Seriously…I guess I would wonder what your motivation would be. Sarah, I know that that was an honest conversation that we had. I know you will never leave your job, at least not for me."

Why did I ever say that, I think? It is clear to me that even though Claire might be out or the picture, I am still a long way from having Chuck trust me again. At least as a lover. I know he trusts me as a friend and I know I'm lucky that I still have that. If not for that I would not have a chance with him.

We drove up the coast and got a motel room. Neither of us had to work in the morning so we decided to just enjoy each others company. As friends, friendship can be underrated, I think. But lovers cannot be overrated.

We get a room with two queen size beds. I'm in mine looking at the ceiling. I realized before walking into the room that I don't have a clue how to get Chuck to trust me as a lover. I don't even know who I can talk with about it.

I have a number of friends within the company that I can discuss work related problems but this different. I don't know anyone who would even remotely have a clue how to help me.

That's not true, I think. There is one person. But it would mean being completely open and honest with her. Honest about who I am and what I do and what role Chuck plays in my life, personally and professionally. And, what he has come to mean to me.

His sister.

If I can have a real relationship with Chuck and the CIA not really care, then why can't his sister know what's going on? It's just another guideline I think.

"Chuck, do you know Ellie's schedule tomorrow? I need to talk with her about something."

"Really, that sounds interesting. I'd like to ask what that's about but something tells me you're not gonna say."

"I honestly can say that you know me better than anyone…you're right I'm not saying."

I go to sleep with a smile on my face and the sounds of Chuck's slow rhythmic breathing in my ears.


	8. Full Disclosure

A/N: OK this is pretty short. I originally thought I had one more chapter but BillAtWork gave me something to try so I _may_ have an additional two chapters.

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Full Disclosure

"That's fantastic Sarah." Ellie said as she handed me a glass of ice tea.

"Yeah, it is," I said not smiling. I'm worrying about what Ellie will think of me once she knows I havebeen lying to her for the last year.

"So the plan worked?"

"Chuck broke up with her yesterday."

"That's great…what am I missing? You don't seem very happy about it."

"Ellie, I need some advice, and you're the only person I know that can help me."

"Sarah, I don't-"

"Let me finish Ellie. This is not easy for me."

I watched her brow furrow in puzzlement. She sat back in her seat and brought both legs up crossing them under her knees and waited for me to continue, her lips pursed together in that odd way she has.

It was early afternoon but Ellie had just got home from work and was still in her greens. She looked tired but as usual she had more than enough time for me.

I took a quick drink of tea stalling for time as I tried to think about how to start this conversation. "Ellie, like I said I need some advice and in order for you to understand what the best thing for me to do is…you're gonna need to understand why Chuck…why Chuck isn't ready to come back to me even though Claire is out of the picture."

"What. He doesn't want to get back together with you? Let me talk to him."

"No, he does but he just doesn't think he can trust me."

"I don't understand Sarah."

I really have her attention now.

I take a deep breath, start to begin and then stop to take another drink of tea. "The thing is Ellie, I've lied to you since the first time we met," I said watching her for a response. She's obviously decided to let me finish without interruption at this point.

"My relationship with Chuck has been a business relationship. We have been partners so to speak.

"Sarah, you're not making any sense."

"I know. Here's the thing. I work for the CIA. My job is to protect Chuck and it has been since you first met me. When we first met and you thought he and I were together… we weren't. It was just pretend. My job is to protect him. He has this amazing ability to remember things and the CIA is utilizing this on certain covert missions."

I look at Ellie to see if she was following me.

"So you're saying that you work for the CIA and you and Chuck are not in love? It's just for the job?"

"That's the way it started Ellie. I always thought Chuck was a great guy but no, in the beginning I was not in love with him. In fact I was getting out of a relationship and I was still in love with someone else."

"But over time, Chuck began to grow on me and then before I knew it, I was willing to shoot another CIA agent to protect Chuck from the CIA. That's when I knew that I was in over my head."

"Chuck has to be worried about the CIA hurting him?"

"No, they don't want to hurt him. But they will go to any extremes to protect him, including locking him up to keep him safe."

"That doesn't sound very benevolent to me. Are you sure he's safe?"

"That's my job… to keep him safe."

"Sarah, how can you do that?"

"Ellie, I've been in the CIA for seven years. I've had extensive training and some unimaginable situations I've had to deal with…Chuck is safe with me."

I watch Ellie consider what I've told her. I see her body position change from open to more reserved as she learned this latest revelation about me.

"You're sure the CIA has the best intentions for my brother?"

"Ellie, the CIA isn't a social service agency. All they care about is keeping our country safe…if an individual has to make a sacrifice for their country the CIA understands that."

"Did Chuck join the CIA? Does he understand that?"

"Yes, he knows that CIA can and will if necessary ask him to make a sacrifice for his country. No, he was recruited for his talent. He's considered an asset not an agent."

"It seems to me that the CIA is asking an awful lot of Chuck."

I look at her with as serious of an expression as I can muster. "Yes they are," I say.

"Here's the thing. I am in love with Chuck…Ellie, I love him so much it hurts me not to have him. It was torture when he was with Claire."

Ellie looked at me with a noncommittal expression but then she saw the raw emotion on my face and I saw her start to melt toward my situation.

"You really love my brother?"

"I don't know what I will do if I don't get him back. I made the mistake of telling him my job was more important to me than him about four months ago. Not in those words but that was the effect. Now he believes that if I tell him something different it's only just to get him back to a place where I can keep a closer eye on him or further some CIA agenda."

"Is Chuck in love with you?"

"I think so, yeah. I know he was. I hope he still is. We're great together. We can talk about anything under the sun and he's just so amazing at knowing what makes me happy. I'm just afraid that I will screw this up. I'm pretty sure I only have one shot at it at this point."

"Sarah, answer this question for me…today, now, if you had to choose between what the CIA asked you to do and what Chuck wanted you to do…shich way would you choose?"

"I will always do what is best for Chuck. I've even told my boss about my feelings for him and he's OK with it."

"Sarah, what is it you need from me?"

"I need to get Chuck to believe me when I tell him I love him and will place him first above all else."

"So does that mean you're willing to leave the CIA?"

"Well no. I mean… maybe. I don't know. I don't think it has to come to that. Do you think he'll insist that I leave the CIA?"

"I don't have a clue Sarah but you seemed to make it an either or situation four months ago. He may need that as proof that you really care for him. Then again, does he know that you've talked with your boss? And what about me, isn't this against the rules somehow? I assume since you've waited a year to tell me about this that you probably are breaking some rules…tell him that." I couldn't help but notice the condemnation leak out in her voice.

I realize that she has given me some great advice but the tone of her voice and the look on her face tells me I also have some fence mending to do with her as well.

"Ellie, are we gonna be OK? I mean now that you know what I do?" I said as I watched her lips purse again.

"Sarah…you've given me a lot to process in a short amount of time. Of course we'll be OK…but this is something I will have to get use to."

"You can't tell anyone Ellie."

"You don't expect me to keep this from Devon do you?"

"It would be best."

"OK Sarah, here's where you've got a lot to learn about relationships. First thing is… you don't keep secrets from your husband or boyfriend for that matter, at least not secrets like this. You gotta know when you tell me something you're telling Devon too."

I can only shake my head. Of course she's right. I've had too many years of secrets and deception that I don't even see that line even after I've crossed it.

"Ellie, I'm going to need your help with this boyfriend thing. That is if I can get Chuck back," I say as I wipe my eyes.

"Come here Sarah," Ellie says as she gives me a hug. "You know you love him. You know he loves you. That's all you need. It will work out."

"I hope you're right," I say as I start to gather my things to leave.

"You don't think your leaving right now do you?"

"Yeah," I say confused.

"Oh no…you don't tell me that my brother is working for the CIA and leave it at that. I need details."

I look at her and smile. She does have a right to know, now.

"Well it all started when Bryce Larkin, my old boyfriend, sent Chuck this email." I said watching her eyes grow to the size of saucers.

"What?"

I know I'm going to be here all afternoon.


	9. Ellie's on the Job

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

Ellie's on the Job

"He said what?" Ellie was incredulous.

"He said he thought that we should take our time and make sure we knew how we felt about each other with respect to our jobs before we commit ourselves to a long term relationship." I was in tears as I recounted to Ellie my efforts to reclaim Chuck as my boyfriend.

"You told him that you talked with Director Graham?"

"Yes."

"What did he say then?"

"He said that Graham must have been shocked. I told him that he already knew. In fact everyone already knew. He smiled so I think that made him happy but that was all he said."

"I can't believe that he put you off like that, after risking your reputation with your company." Ellie paced the room as she considered this latest development. "He's not going to get away with this. Not after everything you've done to make it right."

"Ellie, I'm not sure what you have in mind but I don't want to rock the boat. I think Chuck's right. Let's just take things slowly. It's like you said. He loves me and I love him…it's bound to happen."

"No Sarah, I can't stand the thought of you going back to your apartment and sleeping alone. Meanwhile Chuck is getting some kind of pleasure putting you through hell."

"I don't think he's doing that Ellie and besides I probably deserve it."

"You don't deserve anyone especially my brother playing games just to teach you a lesson."

"I don't think he's doing that Ellie. I think he has real concerns."

Ellie looked at me and then snapped out of her focus. "You're probably right but the knucklehead needs to figure out what he's playing around with. A smoking hot super spy like yourself must have guys hitting on you all the time."

I see the wheels start turning behind Ellie's eyes. "Ellie no, I'm not sure what you have in mind but I don't think I like where this is going."

"I think Chuck needs to figure out that his ex girlfriend doesn't have to just sit and wait for him to make up his mind about what he wants."

"I was afraid you were going to say that. I really don't want to do this."

"Relax Sarah. I've got a friend at work that is perfect for this assignment."

Ellie started using words like mission and assignment after finding out what I do. "Ellie…I'm not going on a date, things can get messy."

"That's why Dr, Sherman is perfect…he's gay and he owes me a big favor."

X-X

"Details, I need details." Ellie sat on her couch looking at me with this intense look. I knew she was in her element.

"Well, Theo and I had just been seated and ordered some wine when I felt like I was being watched. I have sort of a sixth sense about that kind of thing."

"I looked around the room and to my surprise there's Chuck with that girl from the octagon. Then I saw the look on his face and it made me mad. The more I thought about it, the madder I got. Chuck went out on a date because he knew I was going out. What I don't understand is how he found out where I was going? I didn't even know."

"Maybe it was a coincidence."

"Ellie, do you know how many restaurants there are in LA? For both Chuck and I to end up at the El Conquistador on Sunset Strip is beyond calculation."

"I'm sure you're right. Then what happened?"

"Well Chuck made this big deal about ordering the most expensive meal on the menu. And then he proceeded to just make eyes at his date as though she was the most beautiful woman on the planet."

"He did that. What did you do?"

"I wasn't' going to let him just ogle her all night without some retribution. So I laughed great big and grabbed Theo's hand as I told him how funny he was loud enough for Chuck to hear. You should have saw Chuck's face when I did that."

"I went to the restroom around that time and guess who followed me in?"

"No, Chuck's date? What did you say to her?"

"I complemented her shoes."

"Did she recognize you?"

"I don't think so but I did catch her looking at me once…but she just smiled when she saw me look at her."

"When I got back to my seat, Theo and I finished our meal and talked for a while. He asked if I wanted to dance and I looked over at Chuck who was staring deeply into his date's eyes and I said _you bet I want to dance_."

"Ellie, you should have seen his face when he saw Theo and I hit the dance floor. He was beside himself. He didn't even wait for the next song before he was out there with us. It was pretty early and there were only about seven or eight couples dancing at that time."

"I can't imagine Chuck getting on the dance floor unless he had plenty of wine to drink," Ellie said.

"Actually Ellie, he was pretty good. I wondered if he had taken lessons or something. His date was a fabulous dancer…maybe she had worked with him."

"I wouldn't know," Ellie said. "Speaking of good dancers wasn't Theo great?"

"Oh my God, he should be on one of those TV shows…he was fantastic. We had a great time for a song or two. But I kept thinking about Chuck dancing with that girl. I kept getting more and more jealous the more I watched him having fun."

"How long did you and Theo dance?"

"Maybe six or eight songs. Chuck and his date had moved over next to us and we sort of got into this competition to see who could dance the dirtiest with our dates. He actually surprised me. I didn't think he would be able to keep up with me."

"Chuck dirty dancing with Jessica?" Ellie said.

"How did you know her name was Jessica?"

"Oh, did I call her Jessica? Well you must have called her that at some point."

I was pretty sure I didn't remember her name but I brushed it aside. "Well, at this point I think Jessica had had enough of Chuck's pelvis thrusts and turned to me and said, "For crying out loud." She then grabbed Theo's hand and led him away to another part of the dance floor. Chuck and I were left standing together watching our dates as they started dancing together."

We just starred into each others eyes for a while. I couldn't even tell you how long. Then Chuck held out his hand to me. I took it and as I did the music changed from some dance song to some Righteous Brothers song. I don't remember the name of it. Chuck told me but I forget."

"Did you dance then?" Ellie asked.

"We danced until we were exhausted. Theo and Jessica said that they were leaving and for us not to worry about them so we made a night of it."

"Sarah what happened after you left the restaurant?"

"We drove up and down the strip for a while. We talked about nothing really. We do that all the time."

Ellie smiled at me.

"Devon and I do the same thing. When you have that you have something special. OK I can't take the suspense, what happened when you got back to the apartment?"

"We sat on the couch and watched TV for about an hour and then we went to bed."

"Together?"

"No, I asked if he wanted me to join him but he said he needed a little more time."

"What, after all the trouble I've gone through."

"What are you talking about Ellie?"

"Nothing Sarah, I'm just babbling."

Sarah did you tell him about our talk?"

"No, I told him about speaking with my boss but we were interrupted before I had a chance to tell him about our conversation."

"Good," Ellie said as she went to the phone. She dialed a number and waited impatiently for a response.

"Chuck, this is Eleanor. I'm at home with your girlfriend Sarah and I would like for you to get over here as soon as possible…thank you, goodbye."

Ellie sat the phone down and rejoined me on the couch.

"What are you doing Ellie?" I asked.

"I guess what I should have done a while ago…talk some sense into my little brother's head."

"Are you sure-"

"Trust me Sarah, this is Chuck we're talking about…I'm sure."

It took about thirty minutes for Chuck to arrive and during that time Ellie had pumped me for information about my past life. I told her a little bit but for the most part I had to tell her that even Chuck was unaware of most of my background."

"Hey what's the big deal?" Chuck said as he walked through the door.

"Chuck, get over here and sit down," Ellie said forcefully.

Chuck complied and sat looking at me as though asking the question, _what did you get me into now._ I just gave him an expression saying I didn't have a clue.

Ellie paced the floor in front of Chuck and me. She the abruptly stopped and looked at Chuck. "Are you out of your flippin mind?"

"Excuse me?" Chuck replied weakly.

"It is my understanding that you have a beautiful girl living with you…in separate bedrooms. It's my understanding that this is not the arrangement that she wants. And it is my understanding that the two of you are in love with each other. Sarah wants to get back together legitimately and for some reason that I can't fathom, you're holding off. What gives Chuck?"

"Ellie there's a lot more to the story than you're aware of."

"Oh, I know that Sarah works for the CIA and so do you. I know all about what you do. Is that what you think I'm not aware of?"

I watched Chuck's mouth drop open as he starred at his sister. His brow furrowed in an attempt to understand how Ellie knew. He then looked at me with complete bewilderment for an expression.

"Sarah, what's going on?" he asked stiffly.

"Chuck, I was at the end of my rope with our separation. I didn't have anyone to talk to and in fact I didn't have anyone that I could rely on for any advice with our situation. The only person I knew was Ellie. So I made the decision to tell her everything in the hopes that she could offer advice on how to get you back."

I watched Chuck smile grow and grow.

"Does Awesome know?"

"Of course, we don't have any secrets. And by the way Chuck, he thinks it's awesome that you are a government agent."

"Asset," I correct.

"Whatever, he works with spies." She smiled at me and then at Chuck.

Chuck's expression turned serious. "You risked your cover with my sister to get advice on how to get me back?"

I could only shake my head. If I spoke my voice would have cracked.

Chuck leaned over and pulled me to him. "I've been an absolute moron. Sarah, I'm sorry, please take me back. I want us to be together more than anything. I just needed to know that I could count on you always. Even if the CIA desires and yours conflict."

"We are team Chuck. I've gone on record with Graham that you and I are together. They will not break us up. OK?"

This time it was his turn to just shake his head.

I kissed him passionately falling on top of him as he fell back on the couch.

"You two had better get back to your apartment. I need to call Theo and Jessica and tell them my plan work."

Chuck and I stopped dead in our tracks and gaped up at Ellie.

"What? You think you spies have the monopoly on going undercover?" Ellie's smile was absolutely devious until she laughed with delight.

Chuck and I didn't care. We just wanted to get back to our bedroom.

**A/N: One more chapter left. I've tried to think of ways to prolong the story but it just feels like it needs to end here. **


	10. The Conclusion

A/N: Last chapter

A/N: Last chapter. Hope you like it.

Sarah vs The Big Mistake

The Conclusion

"You're sure you want this new assignment Agent Walker?" Director Graham asked.

"I'm sure sir. This one has run its course," I say with a little sadness.

"I'm sorry to hear that," the director said. "You have no regrets?"

"I can't say that. My time here has been special. I will never forget it. But, I always knew this would end. Now that it has…I'm ready to move on."

"I'll see you in Washington on Monday then?"

"Yes sir." I say and turn off the satellite system. I walk out of the Wienerliscious and lock the door. This will be the last time I walk out of this store in this stupid outfit.

I never liked it but I knew Chuck love it. I can't help but think of Chuck. I wonder how he's gonna accept the new assignment. I can only hope for the best.

Driving to the apartment that Chuck and I share, I hope that I can get in and get out without him being around. Everything will just go smoother if I can get prepared without him seeing me.

Chuck is the best thing that ever happened to me. And, change is inevitable. I just have to accept that and so does he. I hope tonight goes as I've planned. I will feel just terrible if there's a hitch.

I walk into our apartment and breathe a sigh of relief. I'm alone. I gather my clothes and pack a bag. I have to be in Washington in two days. That gives me a couple of days to kill. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but I will think of something.

I throw my bag in the back of the Porsche and get in quickly and take off as fast as I can. Whew, dodged that bullet I say to myself.

I drive to the Buy More parking lot and before I get out of my car, I look around for any sign of Chuck. Good, I think and make a mad dash into the store.

"Hurry Sarah, he's gonna be here any minute. We've already called in the Nerd Herd emergency," Morgan said to me.

"Quick, everybody down, he just pulled in."

My heart races as I hide behind the Nerd Heard counter, the place where I first saw Chuck Bartowski. I wait for the signal and then along with Morgan and Lester and Ana and Jeff and even Big Mike, we jump up in unison and say _surprise_.

Chuck was honestly surprised. I was so afraid that if I saw him at the apartment I would give away the surprise party that the Buy More had planned for him.

Everyone rushed out. "Congratulations, Chuck." Each and every person there said it in their own way. I see that Chuck is a hero to everyone there.

After the reverie ended, and things settled down, Morgan was with Chuck and me.

"Chuck how did you and Sarah land jobs with the Government as…what did you call it?"

"DTC Investigators, OK for the last time, we are working for the State Department. We investigate companies that trade military and defense equipment illegally."

"And DTC stands for what again?"

Chuck rolls his eyes, "Defense Trade Controls, Morgan."

"How did you get those jobs again?"

"We applied for them on the State Departments web site."

"I can't believe you're not coming back to the Buy More on Monday."

"Actually Morgan, Sarah and I will be in Washington to complete all of the paperwork we have to fill out. When we get back I'll hunt you up."

"Right on, man."

Chuck and I had a great time at his going away party and then we had a great time once we made it back to our apartment.

We decided to drive up to Napa for the wine festivals and took our time driving home. We had a Sunday night flight via a CIA jet and spent the night in my old CIA apartment. Since this was officially my last night as a CIA employee, Chuck and I spent the night going over my portfolio. I told him about my home town and where I went to high school and then where I went to college where I was recruited into the CIA. I was not going to tell him my birthday but he kept telling me that we had no secrets now and I didn't have a good argument. I couldn't really use the excuse that I didn't want him to know I was a year and half older than him. I doubt if I ever hear the end of that.

For the most part we had a good time but there were some moments that I know Chuck will have to wrap his mind around. Not everything I did for the CIA was as cute as it was in LA.

I know that Chuck will be OK. He knew deep down that I had some experiences in my past that were unsavory but he will deal with them and move on.

We made love in this bed for the first and the last time. I will never tell Chuck this but I felt a little funny about it because the last time I made love in this bed it was with Bryce. Of course Chuck knows about Bryce but I don't want to rub it in.

Before we knew it, we were in Director Graham's office signing my release papers. I gave him the keys to my apartment and when I left his office I was no longer an agent with the CIA.

We then went to the State Department to Assistant Director Skinner's office and officially signed what amounted to a five year contract to administer ITAR regulations for the US Government.

We were given the ITAR Regs and told to learn them in one week. That will be easier for Chuck than it will be for me, but I love a good challenge.

We had to fly commercial going home. I will miss the CIA perks. The jets I will miss the most.

Casey picked us up at the airport and drove us to our apartment. He is assigned as the official liaison between the State Department and the NSA, which means he will be part time with us. But anytime we need extra muscle, we call Casey. He will still be stationed here in LA and will be close by if needed.

Our official titles are Special Investigators for the State Department. I know…not quit the same pizzazz as Special Agent for the CIA.

But it is nice being overt instead of covert. We have official offices with our names on the door and we have jurisdiction over local police when we are called in to investigate a possible ITAR or International Traffic in Arms Regulation violation.

For the first three weeks all we did was paperwork and I wondered if I had made a mistake with the direction of my career. But then I look at my partner on the other side of the office and I smiled. I would give up a little of the high life for him. I smile to myself as I think about how great my life is.

That's when the phone rang. Chuck and I raced to pick it up and I won. I shot him a rye smile before saying _hello_.

"What's the address?" I say. "Yeah send it to my phone." I hang up. "Chuck, we've got a job."

"Where?" he asked.

"Some company named Computer Integrated Solutions."

"Doesn't sound like its Defense related."

"Computers are used in everything. Let's go."

X-X

"Mr. Mitchell we will need to see your permit from the DTC on the sale of these computers to Turkey." I say.

We are sitting in front of the owner of the business and the person designated as the Empowered Official by the DTC. That meant that Mr. Mitchell would be the man who got in trouble if we found irregularities with the transport of the shipment.

"Look Inspector Walker, Inspector Bartowski, I filed all the proper paperwork and the shipment left for Turkey on time. I don't know what happened after it left our docks."

"We're concerned that Turkey was just a front and that this shipment went to Iran instead."

"How can that be my problem?"

"That's why we're here, to find out if you had reason to suspect foul play. If you did you have a responsibility to act by notifying the DCT."

At that time the office door burst open and in stormed Claire Mitchell yelling at the top of her lungs. "I will not wait to see my father."

As I look at her, I say to myself, _there is a God_. I glance at Chuck whose eyes are as big as saucers.

"Come in Claire," I say turning to her father. "Does she have anything to do with this?"

"Claire, heavens no. She wouldn't even know what you're talking about."

"Daddy…what are they doing here?"

"Take a seat miss Mitchell, I'll ask the questions." I say.

"Who do you-?"

"Shut up and sit down like the inspector told you, Claire." Mr. Mitchell said.

Claire, sat down looking at Chuck, she seemed to be wondering what was going on.

"Miss Mitchell, I'm Inspector Walker and my partner is Inspector Bartowski. I'm sorry that we met under earlier circumstances. You see we were under cover. We work for the government and right now we are investigating your father."

"Daddy?"

"Please Inspector, my daughter has nothing to do with this…she just runs our fitness room."

I just stare at her without saying a word. When I'm satisfied that I see nothing of the cocky self absorbed woman I met earlier, I say she can leave.

"But don't leave town. We may want to speak with you again." I couldn't help but throw that in. I heard Chuck cough nervously behind me. I'm sure so that he would not laugh out loud.

"Mr. Mitchell, of course we'll need unfettered access to your records. I would expect our investigation to take at least a week but it could go longer depending."

"Whatever you need Inspector."

X-X

"Sarah, do you think John would be interested in meeting this friend I have at work? She very pretty and she's just finishing up her residency."

"Oh, a young doctor for Casey. I'm not sure I can see that."

"What do you think?" Ellie said as she started to get interested in the project.

"Honestly Ellie, I don't know if John would be interested."

"Oh, we can work around that."

A/N: Hope you liked it. I need to take a break from the fanfics. But I will be reading a lot of my favorites. To all you wanna be writers out there, write something everyday.

LeeCan


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